What I know for sure is, if we build Lives around what others expect, from what others have told us to be true without testing, and not build based on the foundation of our own personal values, scaffolded around “what matters to me”, we most likely have built a tower of misery, mediocrity and a muted sense of self. Once in this state, women can feel…

  • Trapped
  • Off track from goals and where they desire to be in Life
  • Unsure what actions to take to even begin getting back on track
  • Isolated or detached from genuinely relating with others
  • Unfulfilled in their current job or roles
  • And even afraid it’s all too late to begin again

I personally found myself in this state during MidLife and it was not a pretty sight!  What I had to come to grips with first was in taking responsibility for either staying where I was, or begin rebuilding the Life I believe was still available for me.  It begins with giving ourselves the greatest gift of getting to know just who we are. We have mastered getting to know what our spouse, children, friends, customers, boss and even what the government wants, but what about us

“To thine own self be true.” – William Shakespeare

Being faithfully true supporting the needs and values of so many others, we have neglected to provide the space to support our very own.  By the time our heads begin spinning realizing “Houston we have a problem”, our plates are full, energy is zapped, we are overcommitted and knee deep in active projects.  I mean it’s hard to even order dinner because we are so apart from our deepest longings.  Believe me, anxiety over steak or chicken is a symptom of a larger cause.  It’s when we decide to step back, breathe deeply and not ignore the ‘cause for pause’, that wisdom can begin to emerge from its veiled dwelling.  It’s in tapping into our own Soul’s voice (that inner voice) and allowing it to teach us how to be authentic, knowing who we are, and being unapologetically free to choose our own path at any given moment.

Start this new journey by asking yourself empowering questions like, “What really matters to you _____ ” (fill in your name). Then observe with childlike curiosity when you smile, are inspired to act, even when you’re uncomfortable speaks volumes about YOU. The answers can be used to build a Life solidly on your values and will stand serving others as a legacy.  Practice saying “NO” in the mirror until you get comfortable in this foreign vortex of strength. I mean we’ve said “yes” to so much stuff in the past and knew once we were there…”I should be home,” or whatever else your Soul was trying to tell you was best for you but you went anyway.  I’m sure you’ve been there too and can relate.  Saying “yes” to be liked, understood, even perceived as good or nice instead of what was good for us. 

Here’s an example, I had a Client who had what seemed like the American Dream, complete with spouse, kids, dog and upper middle class income – YET she was not happy. She found herself angry at her husband, yelling at the kids and absolutely hating being in the house, while others jetsetted around her. She felt a gaping hole within that could no longer be avoided apart from the busyness of family, friends and civic service. With Coaching, she discovered her Soul was knitted for travel and adventure, yet she had settled into a Life expected of her from upbringing. Now she LOVES her family, but with coaching she now understands where the frustration originates from and no longer makes excuses or blames others for it. She now travels with her husband, alone, with girlfriends and blogs about it to inspire other desperate housewives.

So take daily timeouts getting curious about your Life with compassion and no judgment.  Like a good friend who listens, really listens and understands, be that for yourself now, and take small actions towards the Life that is still calling at your heart. 


This article was written by Angela Hicks, “The Lifestyle Guru” .  Angela is a transformation coach, helping women around the world to no longer fight Life, but embrace it by clearly defining their seemingly impossible goals and create a plan of action to live a life they love.  Click hereto invite her to speak at your organization or for information on private to group coaching sessions.

Angela Hicks, “The Lifestyle Guru”

 

Beliefs color our perception of the world and experiences. Many beliefs are true only because we believe them to be. If beliefs aren’t congruent with excelling in life and receiving abundance, it’s very unlikely you’ll ever live the life you deserve. When your results are falling short of your desires, your beliefs are the logical place to make a change.

Many of the beliefs held are strongly are inaccurate. Fundamental beliefs are formed at a young age. We often learn them from sources that aren’t operating at the expert level. It’s easy to see why we have beliefs that hold us back from experiencing all the abundance we deserve.

Choose a negative belief and begin the process of elimination:

  1. Challenge the belief. Suppose you held the belief that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Where did the belief originate? What was the source? Did you read it or experience it first-hand? Was it something you learned from a parent, teacher, or peer?
  • Is the source reliable? Has this source been wrong about other things in the past? Is this person an expert regarding the belief? You wouldn’t take long-term relationship advice from someone that’s been divorced 5 times.
  • Do you have proof that your belief is accurate?
  • Could the opposite be true?
  • What if your belief is wrong? What would change?
  1. How has this belief limited or harmed you in the past? List all the times this belief has steered you in the wrong direction or stopped you from taking action. Visualize your past and re-experience the pain and disappointment this belief has created. Realize that releasing this belief is a positive and necessary step.
  2. Create a new belief that serves you. It’s not enough to let go of a belief. It’s important to replace it with a new perspective. What is a more useful alternative to your current belief? For the previous example, you might choose the belief, “Anyone can attract wealth and abundance.”
  • Make a list of alternative beliefs and choose the one that feels the most empowering.
  1. Search for evidence that your new belief is possible. Do you know any wealthy people that started with little money? Seek out examples of successful people that came from humble beginnings.
  • Have there been instances in the past you’ve proven your new, desirable belief correct?
  • Make a list of all the times you’ve been successful in congruence with your new belief.
  1. Get excited. Visualize yourself living your new belief. How would your life change? How would that make you feel? What would you accomplish? Stick with this process until you feel a high level of excitement and enthusiasm.

  2. Reinforce the new belief. Repeat your new belief to yourself 100 times each day. This will only take a few minutes. Make time in the morning and evening to complete this task.
  • Beliefs are most easily formed through strong emotional reactions and repetition. The previous step provided the emotion. This step provides the repetition.
  1. Continue until your new belief is rock solid. It’s easy to slip back into old patterns of thinking. Continue the process of visualizing your new belief in action and performing the 100 repetitions until your new belief is unshakeable.

As you can see, beliefs shape our results and future. If you’re dissatisfied with your life, begin by addressing your limiting beliefs. New beliefs are easy to install. Consider how easy it was to install your previously held beliefs without intention. The key is to find evidence for the new belief, surround the new belief with enthusiasm, and remind yourself daily.  Here are some tips I personally use that are extremely powerful.

Attitude of Gratitude– I use an app called 5 Minute Journal that helps direct my consciousness & subconscious toward all the good in my life, while living in a world that reports loudly on what’s bad.

Journaling – this has greatly impacted my learning about my desires, how I thought, my feelings & taking it all into account. I had mastered knowing what pleased others and not me. What did I want? Was I living a life that fulfilled or depleted my soul?

Affirmations – I looked myself in the mirror & finally saw me. Not the one I pretended to be in the world, but me. There I spoke life to that lady in the form of affirmations. I had to retrain my belief system from the bankrupt poverty focused one, the one society, friends, my job spoke over me, into the one God saw in me…one of Kingdom, possibility, potential, royalty, rulership & victory.
I am worthy
I am deserving of good
I will lead and not follow
I will create and not destroy
I defy the odds
I am a force for good
Everything I touch turns to gold
My dreams and goals are coming into reality, how they will get done, is none of my business, It’s God’s business
Now is my season
Now is my turn
I am the shift

Now you’re better equipped for succeed; knowing you deserve it, and will press forward until it’s reached. You’ve broken out!  To get even more crystal clear, Life Coaching is powerful.  Contact us for a complimentary strategy session with Angela.  Click Here before appoints are gone.