What I know for sure is, if we build Lives around what others expect, from what others have told us to be true without testing, and not build based on the foundation of our own personal values, scaffolded around “what matters to me”, we most likely have built a tower of misery, mediocrity and a muted sense of self. Once in this state, women can feel…

  • Trapped
  • Off track from goals and where they desire to be in Life
  • Unsure what actions to take to even begin getting back on track
  • Isolated or detached from genuinely relating with others
  • Unfulfilled in their current job or roles
  • And even afraid it’s all too late to begin again

I personally found myself in this state during MidLife and it was not a pretty sight!  What I had to come to grips with first was in taking responsibility for either staying where I was, or begin rebuilding the Life I believe was still available for me.  It begins with giving ourselves the greatest gift of getting to know just who we are. We have mastered getting to know what our spouse, children, friends, customers, boss and even what the government wants, but what about us

“To thine own self be true.” – William Shakespeare

Being faithfully true supporting the needs and values of so many others, we have neglected to provide the space to support our very own.  By the time our heads begin spinning realizing “Houston we have a problem”, our plates are full, energy is zapped, we are overcommitted and knee deep in active projects.  I mean it’s hard to even order dinner because we are so apart from our deepest longings.  Believe me, anxiety over steak or chicken is a symptom of a larger cause.  It’s when we decide to step back, breathe deeply and not ignore the ‘cause for pause’, that wisdom can begin to emerge from its veiled dwelling.  It’s in tapping into our own Soul’s voice (that inner voice) and allowing it to teach us how to be authentic, knowing who we are, and being unapologetically free to choose our own path at any given moment.

Start this new journey by asking yourself empowering questions like, “What really matters to you _____ ” (fill in your name). Then observe with childlike curiosity when you smile, are inspired to act, even when you’re uncomfortable speaks volumes about YOU. The answers can be used to build a Life solidly on your values and will stand serving others as a legacy.  Practice saying “NO” in the mirror until you get comfortable in this foreign vortex of strength. I mean we’ve said “yes” to so much stuff in the past and knew once we were there…”I should be home,” or whatever else your Soul was trying to tell you was best for you but you went anyway.  I’m sure you’ve been there too and can relate.  Saying “yes” to be liked, understood, even perceived as good or nice instead of what was good for us. 

Here’s an example, I had a Client who had what seemed like the American Dream, complete with spouse, kids, dog and upper middle class income – YET she was not happy. She found herself angry at her husband, yelling at the kids and absolutely hating being in the house, while others jetsetted around her. She felt a gaping hole within that could no longer be avoided apart from the busyness of family, friends and civic service. With Coaching, she discovered her Soul was knitted for travel and adventure, yet she had settled into a Life expected of her from upbringing. Now she LOVES her family, but with coaching she now understands where the frustration originates from and no longer makes excuses or blames others for it. She now travels with her husband, alone, with girlfriends and blogs about it to inspire other desperate housewives.

So take daily timeouts getting curious about your Life with compassion and no judgment.  Like a good friend who listens, really listens and understands, be that for yourself now, and take small actions towards the Life that is still calling at your heart. 


This article was written by Angela Hicks, “The Lifestyle Guru” .  Angela is a transformation coach, helping women around the world to no longer fight Life, but embrace it by clearly defining their seemingly impossible goals and create a plan of action to live a life they love.  Click hereto invite her to speak at your organization or for information on private to group coaching sessions.

Angela Hicks, “The Lifestyle Guru”

 

Feeling stuck or frustrated with life often precedes the decision to make a personal transformation. Making a meaningful change can be both exciting and distressing.  Our brains are wired to make change uncomfortable and more challenging than it needs to be. Focusing on the most important aspects of personal change can make the process smoother and easier. The odds of success are greatly enhanced, too.  We at Opulent Women’s Network desire that all our Queens live their very best possible life.  So we ask that you give yourself the grace of what you desire,  give it your best intentions, followed with unrelentless aggressive action.  We are here as a network to support you!

Include these essentials in your personal transformation process:

  1. Making a true decision might be the most powerful thing you can do. A true decision cuts off all other possibilities. Most of us fail to truly decide. We make weak resolutions and fail to stick with them with an aggressive plan of action. The constant vacillation between multiple options is worse than making no decision at all.

 Narrow down your options to just a couple of choices and then pick one. After the careful consideration you’ve done in the narrowing process, one choice is probably as good as another when you only have a couple of options left. Picking a sub optimal choice is also better than failing to make a choice. Use your gauge of peace to lead you in the right direction, for it never fails.

  1. Create a deadline. Have you ever noticed how projects expand to fill the allotted time? If your supervisor allotted two weeks for you to complete a project, would you be scrambling at the last minute to get it done?
  • Choose a deadline that’s reasonable, not too stressful for you, but still aggressive. You can get more accomplished than you realize.
  • The lack of a timetable ensures the transformation process will take much longer than necessary.
  1. Have an exciting vision. Ensure that you have a clear picture of how your personal transformation will positively impact your life. If that vision doesn’t fill you with excitement, you’re going to need a new vision for the future. Making a big change can be seen as challenging. Without a compelling expected future, it will be hard to persevere.
  2. Address your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs don’t directly limit your ability to transform. However, they can severely limit your ability to take action. If you do not believe you can succeed, you’ll never complete the hard work required to see a transformation.
  • Make a list of all the beliefs you have about yourself and the world that could be limiting your progress. Address each of them one by one. Make a list of counterexamples to that belief. What is the disadvantage of continuing to accept that belief? What new belief could you install in its place?
  • It’s challenging to find and eliminate all the limiting beliefs you hold, but it CAN be achieved, and eliminating them guarantees your ultimate success.
  • Consider any experiences in your past that fill you with a sense of failure. These memories can often hold clues to limiting beliefs.
  1. Measure your progress. Any significant transformation will take time. Weight is lost a little at a time. Skills are gained over time. Develop a way to track your progress and review it regularly by scheduling the review. Seeing progress is motivating. It also lets you know where you stand, and can allow room to adjust towards the desired mark. Enjoy your results and permit it to increase your enthusiasm.

Making a successful personal transformation is one of the quickest ways to positively change your life.

Create a compelling future and be determined that you’ll reach it by your deadline. Work on your limiting beliefs. These lying beliefs are the greatest impediment to the ability to change. Finally, measure your progress along your journey. The feedback and motivation it provides are invaluable.

7 REASONS WHY YOU NEED A LIFE COACH

 

life coach tony robbinsOne of the most common pieces of advice that you’ll hear from nearly all self-help guru’s is that the fastest way to success is to find a coach, mentor or role model that can help you achieve your goal much faster.  Have you heard this before?  I know I have.  Everyone from Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, and countless other “guru’s” preach the same advice.

Yet, most people don’t have a life coach. They resist it.  They think that they can “do it on their own” and often aren’t willing to make that investment in themselves.  In my opinion, this is a trap that most people fall into that holds them back from having massive success in their lives.  It’s something that held me back for years, and if I could go back in time, I would have immediately found a life coach at the start of my journey.  It would have saved me so much stress, time, and money in the long-run.  I’m thankful I’ve learned my lessons now and have had several coaches and mentors in my life.

 

7 REASONS WHY YOU NEED A LIFE COACH

1. Having A Life Coach Makes You More Accountable.

This is one of the biggest things that can help you by having a life coach.  You all of a sudden become more accountable to follow through on whatever you’re procrastinating on or stopping yourself from doing.  We all place limits on ourselves.  We all have limiting beliefs and patterns that are holding us back, preventing us from fulfilling our true potential.  When you have a life coach that is there to push you beyond your limits and what you thought was possible, a breakthrough happens.  Your entire belief system changes, and you take your life to another level.

Not only that, but most of us already KNOW WHAT TO DO… BUT DON’T DO WHAT WE KNOW.  A life coach is someone that gets you to do it.  They’re all about taking massive action. No stories. Only action and results. Without a coach, you’re only accountable to yourself – and that’s the problem for most people.  When you’re only accountable to yourself, you can come up with stories and excuses of why you didn’t do it.  With a coach, none of that stuff flies and suddenly you’re accountable to another human being, which forces you to show up at a higher level.

2. Having A Life Coach Saves You Time And Gets You Faster Results.

Time is the most scarce resource that exists.  You can always make more money, but you can’t get more time. Yet, when we attempt to do things on our own we’re taking the long route and wasting that time away.  This is simply because we don’t know the path ahead and what to expect.

why you need a life coachThink of going after a goal is like being stuck in the middle of the jungle, trying to reach a specific destination.  When you’re doing things on your own, you’re struggling your way through, getting lost, and frustrated.  Maybe you have a map, but you don’t know whether it’s the fastest way as you’ve never made it there before.

Now, what if I told you that I could give you a GPS system that has the fastest, most efficient way through the jungle to reach your destination?  Not only that, but if you get lost, there will be a helicopter that comes and picks you up and makes sure that you get there.  How much time would you save?  How much frustration, stress, and anxiety would you not have to go through because you already have a proven map?  How much more enjoyable would the process be?  This is what having a coach is like.  They can give you the map because they’ve already been there before, therefor saving you a significant amount of time and get there that much  faster.  They know all the short-cuts, and they are there for you if you get lost to point you in the right direction.

3. Having A Life Coach Saves You Money.

When I first started a business, I had no clue what I was really doing.  I thought I did, because I was reading books and consuming resources, but I still had no clue.  Not having a clue what you’re doing essentially means you’re leaving a whole whack of money on the table that you could be making.  That was the case for me.  Not only that, but I was spending and wasting money in all the wrong areas, that wasn’t producing a return on investment.  When I hired a business coach, he told me exactly what I needed to be doing and I listened.  It was as simple as that.  He gave me ideas I never thought of before, and made me BELIEVE that I could do it.  As a result, I ended up making much more money.

When I committed to transforming my body, I was trying to do it on my own.  I was following programs that I found on the internet or heard from others, and was buying all the supplements and “magic potions” that are advertised in all the magazines and online. I was throwing my money away, looking for the fastest way to my goal, without really knowing what I was doing.  

For my  WBFF Fitness Modelling competition , I hired Dr. Joe Klemczewski who helps athlete’s “peak” for fitness shows.  Before I worked with him, I was doing everything wrong.  I was wasting money on fat-burners and cutting calories far beyond what I should have.  I had totally carb depleted myself and was doing what I saw other people doing on the internet, without knowing what would specifically work for me.  It was very painful and frustrating.  I ended up losing a lot of muscle mass that I had worked so hard to attain (and invested a lot of money with food and supplements to build), and I ended up hitting rock bottom and developing an eating disorder.  I had become a binge eater and became addicted to junk food.  Every 2-3 days I would go on a binge where I would consume a large pizza, a tub of ice cream, chocolate bars, cookies, and donuts – all in one sitting.  It was disgusting, and probably one of the most painful experiences of my life.  I was throwing away my money on junk, while destroying my hard-earned body and precious well-being.  When I hired Dr. Joe Klemczewski, everything changed.  He was able to put me on a nutrition program that was really easy for me to follow, that got me better results than I could have ever dreamed of.  That was one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made.

I can go on and on with so many other stories and experiences, but overall, I’ve saved thousands upon thousands of dollars by investing in a coach.  When people say, “I can’t afford a life coach”, my answer always is, “You can’t afford NOT to have one.”

4. Having A Life Coach Saves You Stress, Pain And Frustration.

I’ve already somewhat mentioned above how having a life coach will save you stress and frustration.  Why try to re-invent the wheel?  It’s already been invented and it’ll be so much easier to just learn from someone that knows what they’re doing.  The stress, pain and frustration that you’ll go through trying to figure things out on your own isn’t worth it.  Trust me.

5. Having A Life Coach Gives You Ideas You Never Thought Of.

I was in Southeast Asia working to build a passive income business online.  I was making $30 a month from one of my websites, trying to do things on my own.  I ended up hiring a coach from the  WarriorForum , which is an internet marketing forum.  During my first coaching call with this guy, he immediately gave me an idea that I had never thought of before.  I told him every reason why it wouldn’t work, which was just my limiting beliefs.

That coach ended up explaining to me why it would work and I trusted him, so I did it.  The result?  That website went from making $30 a month to $300 a month passive income.  That was over 2 years ago.  Today, that one little idea that my coach got me to take action on has made me thousands of dollars without having to do anything.  Was it worth it?  You bet.

“The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
Albert Einstein

6. Having A Life Coach Gives You Insights Into Yourself.

I’ve learned so much about myself throughout the years by having a coach or mentor.  One of the most valuable things are the lessons and insights you get about yourself.  You’re always getting feedback and discovering more about yourself in the process.  With the hundreds of clients that I’ve coached over the years, there are always patterns or behaviours that I notice that they aren’t even aware of.  Sometimes it’s a story or limiting belief that they keep telling themselves again and again, which is holding them back.  Other times, it’s a way that they carry themselves, their body language or a subtle way that they’re communicating that is putting people off, preventing them from having success in their relationships with the opposite sex. These patterns are often so ingrained in us, that they become unconscious.  We’re unaware of it.

A coach is able to point these things out and help you become aware of them, so that you can change them. Often it’s the little things that make a massive difference.  I’ve seen incredible transformations within people just by making small changes to their way of thinking or how they are showing up.  Most people you’re around on a daily basis won’t point out these things to you or give you feedback, but a good coach does.  A good coach cares and is always honest with you.

7. Having A Life Coach Gives You A Stronger Sense Of Belief And Self-Confidence.

benefits of life coachThere are so many ways that we limit and hold ourselves back.  There’s things that we WANT to do, but often aren’t doing simply because we don’t have the belief or confidence in ourselves.  When my coach proposed to me that I compete in a fitness show, I was hesitant.  I didn’t believe that I could do it, and thought it took a certain type of person with a level of discipline and commitment to make something like that happen.  The truth is, I was scared.  I let my fear consume me, and was lacking the confidence in myself that I could do it.

My coach made me aware of this limiting pattern and made me realize what I’m truly capable of.  He believed in me, which gave me a strong level of belief and self-confidence within myself.  As a result, I’ve gained so much in the process to competing in a fitness show.  It’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, simply because I’ve grown so much as a human being throughout the journey.  I’ve had to step up and raise my standards to an entirely new level.

THE BEST IN THE WORLD HAVE A COACH… SO WHY WOULDN’T YOU?

michael jordan life coach

The best of the best have a coach.  The best golfer in the world, Tiger Woods, has a coach.  Michael Jordan, the best basketball player of all time, had a coach. Barack Obama has coaches and advisors in his life. Wayne Gretzky.  Lance Armstrong.  Oprah Winfrey. Donald Trump.  Bill Gates.  Warren Buffet.  Richard Branson.  Tony Robbins.  Arnold Schwarzenegger. Many of the top entertainers, musicians, performers, entrepreneurs, investors, and leaders on this planet have coaches. Successful people have coaches.

Let me ask you, does Tiger Woods need a coach? Does Michael Jordan need a coach?  Of course not! But, by having a coach, they are able to have the edge.  They are able to get MORE out of themselves than they ever could on their own.  Both Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan often talk about the coaches they’ve had and the influence they’ve had in their lives.

The reality is, people that are successful had coaches, mentors and role models along the way.  Nobody did it on their own.  People that think “I can do it on my own” will never make it.  It’s a limiting belief – a story they tell themselves again and again, that is preventing them from having success.

Whenever someone says that they can’t afford something or don’t have the money, it’s NEVER a matter of money.  It always comes down to how committed they really are.  If you are committed to something, you will find the way to make it happen.  Think about it, if someone had a gun to your head and said “I need you to come up with $1000 by the end of the month or I will shoot you”, I’m 100% certain that you would find a way to come up with the money.  It’s because you are committed to it.  It’s that same level of urgency and commitment that you need to have in every other area of your life if you want to succeed.

There’s been many times in my life where I couldn’t afford a coach, or to attend a seminar, or to do something I wanted to do.  But I didn’t let the belief of “I can’t afford it” hold me back.  Instead, my belief has always been “I make the money for whatever I’m committed to.”  And guess what?  I always have.  I’ve always found a way to be resourceful and come up with the money.

There was a time when I wanted to travel to New York to attend a seminar.  I couldn’t afford it.  Did I let that stop me?  No way.  What did I do?  I ended up putting together a car wash fundraiser event, got a bunch of my friends and family to come out, and held up signs that said “Fundraiser Car Wash By Donation”.  We spent an afternoon washing cars and I ended up making $800 in a day and paying for my entire trip.  It’s because I was committed and resourceful.

The truth is, you can’t afford not having a coach in your life.  It’s costing you already way too much in your life.

I challenge you to take immediate action on applying what you learned in this article.  Find a coach immediately.  You won’t regret it.  It’ll be one of the best decisions you ever make in your life.

If you’re interested in hiring Angela Hicks as your coach, she’d be happy to speak with you further about it. You can click here to contact Angela about coaching.